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Nobody likes to talk to someone who isn’t listening to them—that goes for both kids and adults alike! So the first step in getting your kids to listen to you and take you seriously is to learn to be a better listener yourself. Learning how to listen establishes a true bond of trust. Kids who grow up knowing that their parents are actually hearing them out, without judging them, without yelling at them first, will grow up knowing that their parents respect them. And remember what we’ve said before: Respect is a two-way street!
Here are five tips to help you better listen to your children:
• Get on their level. Even if you have to sit or kneel down, make sure you’re eye to eye with your child. Eye contact is especially important.
• Give your child his/her words. Toddlers especially have a hard time expressing themselves, which is what leads to tantrums. So whenever possible, complete their sentences or prompt them along. “You look really upset. Would you like to tell me why you’re so upset?”
• Repeat what your child is saying. This shows them that you are absolutely listening. It will also give you time to gather your thoughts to say the right thing. The most important two words you can say is “I understand.”
• Don’t interrupt. Let your child finish what he’s trying to say. Conversely, if you are talking, don’t let your child interrupt. Simply say, “It’s my turn to talk now. Please let me finish.” Sometimes what helps young children learn to take turns talking is to introduce an object, like a spoon: Whoever has the spoon is talking now.
• Respond calmly. Speak in a low, calm voice. This tells your child that you are being serious without being upset.
• Disciplining without Yelling
I have to ask my son to do something three or four times before he will actually do it on most days. I finally get so frustrated that he isn’t doing what I ask that I yell at him to do it. Then he does whatever it is that I asked. I know I am encouraging him to yell and carry on, but how do I get him to listen the first time that I ask and avoid the yelling?
If he doesn’t listen the first time, then give him a warning and tell him if he doesn’t respond, he will lose a privilege! Make sure his hearing is OK, too. I used to always tell the children I was looking after that I was going to get their ears checked to make sure they heard me!
Also remember cleaning up and the like should be made fun. Have a little competition to see who can pick up the most toys. If he doesn’t want to play along, tell him that if you pick them all up, they belong to you
If you want to learn more about divorce education, contact your local family court or a family law attorney with experience in child custody and visitation. Attorney Scott J. Stadler practices divorce and family law in Broward County, Florida. His office is located in the city of Coral Springs.
Tags: Kids, kids behavior, listen to your kids, parenting
Posted in Children · June 27th, 2010 · Comments (0)
Should we fight wars by remote control? For these Air Force pilots, the front line of the war in Afghanistan is right here, at a base less than an hour from Las Vegas. FRONTLINE “Digital Nation” is a multiplatform project exploring what it means to be human in a 21st-century digital world. Watch the TV documentary now online at www.pbs.org In a unique collaboration with the public that began on the “Digital Nation” Web site, award-winning producer Rachel Dretzin and commentator Douglas Rushkoff probe how digital technology is changing nearly every aspect of modern culture, from the ways we think and learn to the ways in which we socialize, work and even conduct war. Is it possible to multitask well? Is too much digital media bad for young brains? Should we fight wars by remote control? What are the real-world effects of immersion in virtual worlds? Watch online beginning and share your story of life in the digital age at www.pbs.org . FRONTLINE is produced by WGBH Boston and is broadcast nationwide on PBS. Funding for FRONTLINE is provided through the support of PBS viewers. Major funding for FRONTLINE is provided by The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. Additional funding is provided by the Park Foundation. “Digital Nation” is brought to you by the Verizon Foundation.
Tags: army", creech, digital, dig_nat, drones, frontline, Games, life, military, nation, parenting, PBS, Relationships, second, video, virtual, worlds
Posted in Games · April 22nd, 2010 · Comments (6)